End of October. Fall is in full swing in Canada, winter is looming. Here, it's hard to mark the seasons, not much changes, I have to keep thinking, What month is this now? There's nothing to relate it to. The weather is either hot or hotter, or sometimes, less hot. It wasn't too bad for the first few weeks I was back, but then the clouds all left town, and every day was sunny and clear, with blazing blue skies, and and absolutely scorching sun. Just the idea of going out anywhere was too much to think about. I learned to time my journeys, out in the morning, lurk inside for the afternoon if at all possible, then venture forth again at 5 when the heat subsides a bit. But in the last week or so the clouds have returned with some blessed relief from that fireball in the sky. And the rainy season is getting closer. Not a drop of rain has fallen on this city in months. The months ahead will more than make up for that!

I feel as though most of the last 6 weeks have been spent in 3 hospitals here in the city. I tell people now - If you can't find me at home, check the hospitals, I'll be there! Start with the Solca, the cancer hospital. My friend Lenny has started chemo for ovarian cancer, and at the same time is having treatment for some TB lesions they found during surgery. So all of that means 5 separate trips to that hospital every 3 to 4 weeks. 2 for bloodwork, 2 for doctor visits, and 1 for chemo. All of which involve many hours of waiting. After the oncology visit, we have to launch off on a round of joining other lines to get the chemo in place for the next day - that usually takes 5 to 6 hours. Then the chemo is a 6 hour session. But Lenny is taking it all in very good form. It's even less fun for her! Her hair has all fallen out, and she's acquired a wig from someone, and in private she likes to whip it off and show me her "coco blanco" - white coconut!! And she seems to be coping quite well with the treatment, a couple of days of feeling lousy after the chemo, but then she bounces back. So in the meantime I pray that this is accomplishing what we're hoping for, a recovery for her so she can continue to care for her young family.
Then too, in between all the Solca trips have been waits on benches at the other 2 hospitals I frequent (I am actually known at these places now, they greet me like an old friend!), with other people who need medical attention for one thing or another. I have to remember to pack snacks, water, a book, and a sweater - these hospitals are vigorously air conditioned in places. Sometimes these visits are successful, sometimes hair-pullingly frustrating. Always an education.

In the midst of all these at times discouraging hospital trips, I've had a big positive. Through a Canadian contact, I've been put in touch with a ophthalmologist here, just when I really needed a good one for a couple of people. He has been wonderful, seeing my patients, not accepting payment, and a couple of weeks ago, arranged an expedition for me and a handful of people with eye problems, to a clinic he is associated with in Milagro, a town an hour away. It was founded and is run by MMI (Medical Ministry International), and is there for the poor. So a van came all the way here to collect me and my group, and took us there, where we were treated like royalty. Forms filled in, testing done, then our doctor saw them all in between his OR patients, and then suddenly, my old friend Julian was being taken in to have his cataract removed - just like that!! That day felt like a gift to me. We're saying it was a milagro in Milagro (the word means 'miracle'). We have another trip planned in a week, to take 5 or 6 kids to see the pediatric eye specialist there. All from a "chance" encounter with an old friend while I was in Canada. Any doubt that God is always working away there, out of sight? Not one!

Our Canadian group is now complete again. The last of our number, Nikki, got back from her time in Canada on the weekend. For a couple of weeks in August, Janna was the only one of us here, all the rest had headed back to Canada at various times over the summer. First me, then the Horst family, then Luke, then Nikki. But we're all back now, and getting on with what God has for each of us here.

I'm looking forward to another trip back to the jungle communities up the Onzole river later this month, finally. It's almost a year since I've been there, and I can't wait to go back and see my friends there. Stay tuned for news on that!

I've been back in Ecuador for a month now, and life here has absorbed me again. I've had some difficult days as I've struggled to adjust to life without the presence of all my family and friends again, there are times of loneliness, but I am adjusting to that and not feeling the gap so badly now.

(I've just been given a huge boost - my internet guy was just here to be paid, haven't seen him since April, and he says my Spanish is MUCH better than it was, in fact he went so far as to say it's good!!! Hey how about that? I think I may have just been having a good moment, but I'll take it!)

As I say, I feel as though I've been re-absorbed into this life. There have been all kinds of happenings, good and bad, fun and not much fun at all. A couple of weeks ago I went to camp for the day with the Kids' Club from Block 6, along with a few of the mothers and the leaders, and we had a great day. The weather was gray and windy and cold - yes, cold - I never had my sweater off all day! But everybody had a fine time anyway. The kids all went into that cold gray pacific ocean, so different to the one I'm used to in February and March when camp is on. They came out little frozen shivering penguins with blue lips, but had a ball of course. Played games, buried each other in the sand, collected the bumper crop of sand dollars, and the mothers welcomed a chance to be away from their usual lives in Bastion, if just for a day. And it was a good chance for me to be able to spend some informal time with them and get to know some of them better.

I've been able to spend time with some of my friends, having chats and catching up, the kids in university have just finished their first semester and done exams, and all the ones that I'm involved with passed and did well. It's hard to get used to the upsidedown-ness of the school year here, in Canada it's all just getting underway, schools, universities and the rest of life that takes a break through July and August, but here it's all in full swing. Universities are on a break between semesters, the kids in school are getting ready for exams. It's now hard to imagine that September life I used to know in Canada.

Our little school is a busy place, lots of activity. This week there was a first ever science fair and open house for the parents. Each class had a display set up, and the kids had speeches all memorized to tell you all you needed to know about whatever project they had. The oldest class divided into pairs and each did their own presentation, we heard all about the workings of the heart, how plants grow to adapt to sources of light, how plants absorb water and nutrients (and food colour) up their stems. One class told us everything we had ever wanted to know about quinoa, complete with samples of what you can do with it. And another class had a display about the nutritional benefits of bananas and plantain, also with samples. The parents came in droves, there were snacks for sale, and the whole affair was a huge success, pretty good for a first time.

And the medical problems are always with me. In the last week alone I have spent 17 hours waiting for medical appointments, that was only 4 separate visits. It is an absolutely crazy system, and everybody is just used to it, and puts up with it patiently. I'm a fairly patient person, but I have to say I've been sorely stretched a couple of times this week. Everybody is given 1 appointment time, everybody arrives then, but that is just the time at which the doctor will start seeing people, or tests will start being done. So somebody is out in an hour, and the rest wait, and somebody will have to wait 4 hours. Or more - yesterday I waited 6 1/2 hours for my patient to see the neurologist - that was a very long time to perch on a bench. The only good part about that wait was that it was at the psychiatric hospital (an experience in itself!), which was built in another age, and is an old fashioned place built around a huge open outside area, that was parklike, even had (unaccountably) swings and slides and all, which was a huge help because my patient was a 9 year old girl. But still!! And of course it's not just me waiting, as I looked along the line of consultorios, I could see dozens and dozens of people, always the poor, waiting and waiting. They are so used to it, it's their life everywhere they go where they have to deal any kind of officialdom.

I've been dealing with leg ulcers, one that I've been trying to close since last December, it's SO slow, and a new one on my old friend Julian's foot. We've caught this one early, so I'm hoping we can heal it quickly. A little girl with epilepsy, my friend Marlene with her ongoing kidney disease which seems to be fairly well under control right now. And the newest most serious issue, my friend who had the enormous ovarian cysts removed in March has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She had more surgery while I was in Canada, and has been having tests (that was last week's 4 hour wait, for a CT scan) and after many delays, we go on Monday finally to see the oncologist to get some sort of plan. This lady has some older, grown children but also 4 young ones, the youngest is only 2 or 3. A very needy family. I'd appreciate prayer for her, and for me as I try to help her through this system and diagnosis.

And that's just part of it. Lots to occupy me, and make me wish I had a medical degree. And lots to make me thankful. And I am so appreciative of my community of friends here, when I'm having a bad day, feeling down or lonely, there is only one solution - I take myself across the dreaded road and spend some time visiting in Bastion - a guaranteed cure.

Oh dear, I've just seen the date on that last blog post - June 16!!! That's quite awhile ago, I think I may be overdue an update!

I'm back on the south side of the equator again, came back a week ago, after 3 1/2 months in Canada. That was a long time to be away, maybe too long. But it was time for me to be there, with my family. As I try to look back at those months now, so many assorted memories are there, so many occasions. Some sad, many happy. I was there for 2 funerals, I said goodbye to my sister-in-law Heather, which is why I went home, and also to my friend John, an unexpected loss. But I was there for some celebrations too, I got to go to 2 weddings, and I was delighted to be there for my grandaughter's first birthday, and make a cake for her. Also got to celebrate my Dad's 80th birthday. And there were so many other wonderful occasions with the family and friends. They were months of a LOT of eating - catching up on food that I miss when I'm here. But that means I have returned with a slight problem, I returned with a few extra pounds, on my person, not in my luggage! All due to a lot of great meals and the use of a car. However, the Ecuadorians don't see this as a problem, they keep saying - Oh you're fatter - you look so nice!!! This is a great culture!

I was able to do a little bit of travelling while I was back, to Muskoka for a weekend, then on to Quebec in the Laurentians to a cottage where some childhood summers were spent. Great times of catching up with friends and relatives. A weekend at my brother's cottage, where we relaxed and watched him work! And 2 days with my sister and daughter at the shores of Lake Huron, where I'd never been before. I can't imagine how I've missed that, it's so beautiful and so unexpected somehow, and so close to home. And above all, I got to spend a lot of time with Elizabeth, my best beautiful grandaughter, and get to know her, and see her start walking and talking. I could take up a great deal of space here, going on and on about how she's the most amazing grandchild ever....but I'll spare you that! But am I ever missing that child already!

And now I'm trying to readjust to life here. It is good to be back, it's been SO good to see my friends, and I've been well hugged and welcomed back to Ecuador. But it is an adjustment, I was in Canada long enough to get used to the ease of life there again. Now I'm back to noise and dirt, and no car (that will get rid of those pounds, I hope). Long lines to do everything. Not being able to understand half of what is being said, or to make myself understood at times. Being without running water (it went off yesterday and has just come back after more than 24 hours). And other minor inconveniences. But probably the hardest has been the return to an empty house, and feeling such a distance between me and the family. But I'm thankful for the technology that we have now, and this "aloneness" causes me to turn to my Father in heaven, who will fill those empty spots better than anyone.

There is work to be done, I've been visiting my patients one by one, catching up, and having new issues to deal with. And I'm realizing once more how inadequate I am for this job, on my own, but remembering that the ability to do this work comes from outside of me, the guidance and help I need every day comes from above. I could not be here doing this without my God.

I've been back in Canada for 6 weeks now, and am still struggling in some ways to adjust to North American culture. Somehow, although I am Canadian born and bred, and almost all of my life has been spent here, it's more of a "culture shock" to find myself back in Canada than in Ecuador. To be sure, I am enjoying my time here, I'm soaking up the fresh clean air, the cool, the quiet, the times I get to spend with family, visits with friends. It's a happy surprise to have to deal with any kind of officialdom, and find that I don't have to spend 2 hours in line, there aren't 20 pieces of paper to have ready, and arguments to have, and more lines to stand in. It is nice to go out without having to put on a money belt, or clutch my purse with both arms, or leave all valuables behind.

And yet . . .

I am having some trouble reconciling my 2 worlds. There are some things that really bother me about this world, and the one that has prompted me to head for my blog is about garbage.
Yesterday was garbage day here in this part of Burlington. Garbage day has changed since I lived here - now you have an array of bins and boxes to sort your rubbish into, and that's great, there's a lot of stuff that is not taking up space in landfill now, and instead is recycled into another life. But around here it was also "big" garbage day - where you can get rid of stuff that is too big to put out for the usual collection. That can mean odds and ends of all kinds of junk, but now it also seems to be a good chance to get rid of what looks to be perfectly good household items, that we no longer want. I went for a walk the night before the big collection, and took a look at some of the discards, and I was blown away by the things that were out there - chairs, tables, couches, bookcase, a stroller that looked way better than the one my children got pushed around in. These were gently used things, much of it not dead or dying - it looked FINE! Often people cruise about in pickup trucks and help themselves to some of the good useable items, but there were 2 things that got me about all this. One that these things are so easily discarded - that couch looks just fine to me, maybe slightly outdated? Maybe not. That bookcase is in great shape, just a bit of candlewax dripped down the front. Couldn't see anything wrong with the stroller. Do we need to live with everything looking perfect and up to the current trends? And if we do, why can't the things that are no longer perfect and up to our standards be given to people who need them? Because the other part that troubled me was when on Monday morning everything that hadn't been salvaged the night before, was put into the garbage truck and crushed and made to disappear. I watched while a couch with a pull-out bed in it was heaved into the back of the truck, a lever was pulled, there were awful crunching sounds . . . and it was gone. It didn't appear to have anything wrong with it, and it was way nicer than any of my friends in Bastion will ever have, and I think of the household items that they live with, or without, and it somehow seems wrong. I know this is a different world, and even in my other world there are people who live with excess, but not in the part of that world that I know.

. . . one of my struggles and a place where my 2 worlds collide.

May in Canada

On May 2 I left Guayaquil and came to Canada, 2 weeks earlier than I had planned, and with 24 hours to get ready to leave my home and life for 3 months. My sister-in-law's health suddenly began to deteriorate, and it became clear that my original travel date of May 14 was too far away. So Friday May 1 was a day that passed in a blur of heat, activity, tears, and goodbyes. I had numerous trips to assorted bank machines to try to persuade them to part with some cash, there were meds to buy to be left behind for my patients, 3 months' worth of dressing supplies to be delivered, arrangements for my house and cat......! But the impossible was accomplished and I was able to leave on that plane the next morning.

And then I was plunged immediately into a whole new world, one in which a close and dear family member was coming to the close of her time here on earth, and all of the family drew close to walk this unfamiliar path together. And thus passed 2 weeks, most of that first week spent at the palliative care unit at the Brantford General Hospital, until Heather was transferred to a hospice, where the wonderful people cared so well for her and for all of us. That hospice became our home for just over a week, we took turns sleeping there, had family dinners, and generally took the place over. And were assured by the staff that that's exactly what they want to see. Heather steadily declined over those 2 weeks, but still had some good periods of being alert and able to communicate and be part of some get-togethers in her room. Although she wasn't able to speak, she still managed to communicate with very expressive eyebrows, and a whiteboard. Family and close friends spent some very precious hours together, talking, remembering, crying, and laughing. I am so thankful to have been given these times, that I was able to get back from Ecuador in time. I had prayed so often that God would make it clear when I should go, and He did. Heather left us early in the morning of May 17, and went home to her Saviour. And now we have a big gap in our lives to get used to living with.
The other part of coming home of course has been that I get to spend time with my little grandaughter Elizabeth. That has been such a joy, and has helped to balance the grief. She turned 1 year old yesterday, and I was there to be part of that, and we were remembering how hard it was to be so far away last year when she was trying to arrive, and it wasn't going all that well, and I was dependent on intermittent text messages to know what was going on!!! Yesterday was much better!! She's very cute, very smart and full of personality, and I'm allowed to say that - I'm the Grandma!!


It has been a bonus too, to be here for a Canadian spring. When I arrived the new pale green leaves were just showing, the fruit trees were in bloom, so were the daffodils and tulips, and magnolias. Oh and pansies! And I've been here for the lilacs and lily-of-the-valley. Things I didn't even realize I missed, but so lovely to be here for them. What a beautiful country this is.

But. . . . cold! Will this place ever warm up? Just wondering.

a bend in the road

The last time I updated this was the evening I was waiting for Kathryn to arrive. She did, and we spent 10 days together, visited old friends, took a trip downtown on the MetroVia, so she could see if it was still as bad as it was last year (it was), we spent 2 days out at Playas at camp, 2 glorious days of rest and relaxing, where I was able to stay on the beach as long as I wanted to, with nobody needing me for anything!! I read, slept, walked and played in the waves - it was wonderful! Then we went to Quito and Otavalo for a few days, and then suddenly the 10 days were all over and she was gone!

And today I booked flights for me to go back to Canada for a time. This is hard for me to write about, but this blog is about the journey I'm on, and this is part of that journey, and those of you who are following my progress need to know about the bends in the road too. While Kathryn was here with me, we got news that my sister-in-law is losing her battle with an aggressive brain tumour, and her time with us here is getting short. And so I'm going home, I need to be with my family now. It's hard to be so far away, with something like this happening, I need my family, and they need me. But at the same time it is hard to leave here, knowing I'll be gone awhile. There are so many thoughts in my head right now - who will do what I've been doing here, who will look after my patients, how will it feel to be in Canada for a few months, how hard will it be to adjust back here when I come back...? But I'm doing what I have learned to do, follow where God leads, and trust Him for all of this. He is faithful, loving, and will be with each of us every step of the way on this dificult road that this family is now walking. He has promised that - "I will never leave you nor forsake you". Never.
"But I trust in your unfailing love" Psalm 13
I am re-reading a book by David Jeremiah - When Your World Falls Apart. It's a good one.

It's all over, camp season is done, and it's kind of sad. It's a wild and crazy time, these 2 months of camp, people coming, people going, planning, buying huge amounts of food, more planning, groups arriving, groups missing bags, groups leaving....And then there's camp itself - all the kids, games, noise, cooking huge amounts of food, fun, crises both large and small. Serious times, too - devotions, counsellors spending time talking one on one to kids, campfires when kids often make commitments to God and allow Him into their lives, and stand up to tell everyone. Beach time, trying to keep track of all those bodies in the huge waves. And of course, music. We love to sing, and we do it with gusto!
In between those weeks of camp we come back to the city and try to fit in bits of normal life too, whatever normal life here may be! For me that means visits to patients, checking on progress, and going to doctor visits with people, as well as tryng to keep up with email and this blog!!!
So it's been chaotic, but very good. Looking back at it all now from this end of it, it has been a wonderful time, so many kids of all ages spending time at that camp, and being blessed by their time there. And it has been so good to watch the campers from past years now directing and leading and counselling younger kids. They all did a fabulous job, and I'm so proud of them!
The last week was for the older kids, and for me that was the best week, I really enjoyed that time. The whole week went really well, somehow it just all came together and was great. The speaker who came from Quito was excellent, the best we've had, in my humble opinion, he was real, and he geared his messages to his audience. He spoke, and the kids listened, all of them.
Medically, it was a peaceful week, almost nothing but the most minor of problems....until Thursday afternoon. I was at the beach and someone came to get me, a kid back at camp had been doing backflips and landed one badly and injured his arm. Sure enough, it looked pretty broken to me, but we took him into playas and got an x-ray done, and yes, he had broken both bones in his lower arm. Nobody in Playas is able to deal with such a problem, so we splinted it, gave him pain meds, and kept him at camp for the night, and sent him home the next morning. I'll tell the rest of that story another time, it's not over yet!!
When I got back from Playas after getting the x-rays, there was literally a lineup of people with problems - fever, headache, bumps, bruises, sprains - it just all fell apart all at once!
Then Friday at lunchtime, someone told me that Richard, the young guy who suffers from epilepsy, poorly controlled, had been sick since the previous day, not keeping anything down. When I went to see him, he was barely responding to us calling his name. There wasn't much I could do for him, and with his epilepsy I felt he would be better in the city with access to doctors, and we hired a pickup truck to take him back.
But..... on Saturday when we got home, I discovered that he was still very sick, his mother hadn't taken him to a doctor, and he was worse than he had been. I went to see him, and off we went to Emergency, my second trip there in less than 3 weeks - they're getting to know me there! He was stabilized and stayed in until Monday, he's better, but not himself, and we're still working on him, he's getting tests done and I think we may have found us a good neurologist.
So it's always something, and you never know what that something is going to be!! I was very happy to have a doctor from Nova Scotia around this week, he came with a group to work on the new house at camp, and I was able to have a couple of sessions with him, to ask many questions, and gets lots of useful knowledge, and on Saturday we went together to visit a couple of households where I needed some real medical input. What a huge help that was, and don't I wish I had a doctor around here more!!!
As I write this, Kathryn, my daughter is en route here for a visit, for 10 days. We're both looking forward to some time together, it's been awhile. Might even get some rest time in there too.
link to camp photos: http://picasaweb.google.ca/heathermoore21/Camp2009?authkey=Gv1sRgCNvat9iAm-6a8QE&feat=directlink